Bobble Head

My last posting was written in a burst of happy energy over being at home at last. Since then I've done little to nothing. I feel like a bobble head. My head is light. It feels strangely outsized and if I sit still it seems to sway entirely of it's own accord. I need vast amounts of sleep. 12 hours at night and a 3 to 4 hour nap is not too much.

The hospitalization went smoothly for the most part. Unfortunately waking up abruptly from anesthesia seems to be more about me than about the anesthesia. This time I tried to extubate myself but had enough awareness of what was up that I let go of the tube when told to. I mentioned this to My Esteemed Surgeon on my last hospital day and immediately regretted it. He had seen the whole thing and naturally found it distressing. I think he had been hoping that I wasn't as aware as I had seemed.

Something that was very different this time was the whole incision thing. The first time I had surgery I remember being awakened from sleep on hospital day #3 by the resident ripping the bandage off of my belly in one movement. I also had staples. This time My Esteemed Surgeon instructed me to remove the bandage myself and just work at it slowly. I also have plastics quality stitches closing the broad smile at the bottom of my tummy.

Both in the hospital and at home I am caffeine deprived. I can normally drink hot drinks in warm weather but I don't seem to be able to right now. In the hospital they only served me decaf tea. I finally broke down and got someone to bring over a 2 liter bottle of coke. I'm also hungry all the time. I can only eat a little before I'm stuffed and then shortly I'm famished again. This is a problem since I'm really not up to all those trips to the fridge so I sit around hungry with my head bobbling slowing in the breeze.