What's Wrong with Her?

"Physician Heal Thyself." This is said to me regularly usually by people with a smart-alecky look on their faces. The other clever statement I hear a lot is "You need a doctor." I usually manage to chuckle as if I've never heard anything so witty before. Maybe it's because I know so much about them but my patients seem to think they have some right to know what's wrong with me. I don't try to hide being human. I'm occasionally observed entering or leaving a bathroom. Once at the grocery store I ran into a patient who exclaimed "You shop?" My patients knew when I got married and they know when I go home to visit my folks. I don't feel the least bit bad about telling half truths to those of my patients silly enough to ask for details about my condition. While I genuinely like many of them and would choose them as friends if only they didn't choose me as their doctor our intimacy is strictly professional. There is no quid pro quo on personal information between patient and physician. I also think it is kinder to tell my patients my back is out instead of the actual truth which might be more along the lines of "She just couldn't bear the thought of listening to all your whining today and is at home with the covers over her head."