Meat & Potatoes vs. Wine & Cheese

Despite my best efforts I have been following the Steelers this year. There are plenty of fan websites and whatnot where you can read the stats and download the fight songs including a couple of polkas. There's even a blog I stumbled across. But, what I want to know is why don't we have cheerleaders? The Colts had cheerleaders. The Broncos had them, too.

Now the Steelers couldn't have just any cheerleaders. Pretty girls are a dime a dozen after all and when you've got the Steelers to watch, who needs eye candy? Ours would need to know how to fix halushka, keep the crowd loud and if the defense lets the ball through get out on the field and stop it... Here's my vision:

Dada, dada..... Introducing the Pittsburgh Pierogies!!!!!!!!!!! Here comes a crew of women d'un age uncertain and weighing at least one standard Pittsburgh unit (ie: about 180 pounds). Except that is, for the really, really skinny one. A few would make reasonable contestants in the newest reality TV show called: "Get That Woman Some Teeth!" Forget the silly little costumes. The Perogies wear army boots with cutoffs and that traditional Pittsburgh favorite: a tank top. They celebrate touchdowns with synchronized arm flab routines. Anybody fumbles and they're gettin' a whoopin'. You got hurt? She's putting a bandage on it and shoving you back out there with a hardy "Quit yer cryin'."

Look out Seattle!