If Only I Didn't Have Toes

I saw these shoes in a magazine and decided I would check out the real article while I was in the Big City. I was crushed to find that they DON'T MAKE THEM IN MY SIZE. I have had these gigantic feet since I was about 13 or 14. I used to have no choice but to wear shoes which did not fit. I didn't count wearing shoes just like Sister Leona Mary's as an actual option. I do admit that things have gotten somewhat better but I still shop for shoes by walking up to the first clerk I see and asking to see what they have in an 11. There is no real point to looking for shoes I like and asking if the gods saw fit to create them in my size. This is the sure path to damnation or meltdown. The exceedingly helpful man whose lunch I interrupted at United Nude (see the link above) gave me the card of the store's previous owner who has gone on to a higher or at least a larger calling. Unfortunately his new endeavor "Elleven Up" doesn't have a web site but you can rest assured I will go there one day. Not this trip, but surely on another visit. I am not the jealous sort so if you have the opportunity to get there before I do it is located at 12 W 57th Street in suite 1005. In the meantime I will hold tight to my fantasy of finding a drag queen having a garage sale.