City Winter

Thankfully the snowfall that had been predicted to coincide with my visit to New York City amounted to nothing but I've always disliked "back east" winters. This includes Pittsburgh for those of you who have gotten the silly notion that Pittsburgh is in the Midwest. Maybe the defining criteria for whether a place is in the East or the Midwest should come down to this difference in the winters. New York winter, the prototypical "back east winter,"is in my experience sloppy and wet. There may be frozen lumps of snow piled at the curb but basically what you've got is slush. In the Midwest, the real Midwest, there are giant mounds of snow to climb over in order to cross the street, too. But in the Midwest you don't climb over the giant mound of snow in order to land in a vast puddle of slop of indeterminate depth. You climb over the giant mound of snow and skillfully cross a vast patch of ice. If you lack this skill or fail to acquire it you must promptly move to Florida. If you have some rudimentary capability you might be able to get by with some assistive devices such as cleats. When it is a puddle of slop you must contend with your only strategies are long jumping, pole vaulting or getting rich enough to use a car service. I did find one item that makes winter anywhere a little more bearable and that is the wonderful "wonderwarmer". These are nifty little thingies that become nicely toasty when you snap a little capsule inside them. After they've cooled off their magical properties can be restored by boiling them for "just five minutes." I plan to use mine on the walk home. With a small modification these could probably be slipped into your earmuffs or hat as well.