A Bad Neighborhood

To paraphrase Anne Lamott my mind has become a bad neighborhood. It is not someplace I want to go into alone. I realized this fully when I noticed I hadn't posted anything for a week and a half. I knew I was working hard. I knew I was stressed and worried about a lot of things but I didn't realize I'd shut down completely until yesterday. It's not that I haven't been playing with my blog. I've been fiddling with the template etc, but I haven't been able to write anything. I don't want to hear any of my own evil thoughts so why should I inflict them on anybody else? Thus, blog silence. Today I presented my gloomy self to the salon for a haircut. The haircut helped a little bit, and I got some sympathy and understanding from Susan as she transformed my head into something much more stylish. As a small business person who deals with the public in a service industry I always appreciate Susan's wisdom. You might think that a salon owner/hairstylist and a physician wouldn't find much common ground but go back and read that last sentence and just try and tell me that doesn't describe medicine. I have always believed that part of what makes an effective physician is good acting skills. I don't mean to say I'm a phony but that I am aware of how I interact and speak with people. I consciously arrange my face, select my words and choose how to intone a statement. All day long I channel Marcus Welby or some Norman Rockwell doctor when House( I tried to give you a link here but it seems their website is in trouble)is closer to the truth a lot of the time. When the day is done. I pull the plug on that freak and I am back to the exhausted, depleted bits of regular old me. None of this is as well written or insightful as I'd like it to be but it's the truth.