Mom, I don't ever want to be Terry Schiavo

I just got off the phone with my mother. She cried but then she is very sentimental. I am very perplexed and dismayed by the current situation with Ms. Schiavo, her family and our government. My dismay arises from our hands-off government suddenly wanting to micromanage somebody's existence. I am perplexed by arguments that removing a feeding tube is somehow different from removing a ventilator or life sustaining medications. I have had many a painful conversation with individuals and rooms full of disparate family members when a loved one has met tragedy. I do not claim to be particularly gifted in this regard but I do have courage. It takes courage to bring up painful and divisive things with shocked and grieving people but it is a disservice not to do so. (The other important ingredient is timing. Early in an illness is best of course but that was an opportunity Ms. Schiavo did not have. Immediately upon the cessation of her heart would not have been too soon, however. I will not speculate here as to how a healthy adult woman gets a potassium deficiency sufficient to stop her heart.) While I have no knowledge of her care or the conversations which might have happened, her hypoxic brain injury would have been obvious from the initial insult forward. I fear that efforts to identify her wishes and who should speak for her at that moment may have been missed. I am chilled when I hear Ms. Schiavo's mother say that her daughter is her life. My heart goes out to her. I can easily picture my mother in her place. But, sad as it may be, it is not appropriate to prolong someone else's dying for what you get out of that person's existence. That I'm afraid is supremely selfish.

End of Life